Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
