Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
