I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Even the bartender felt bad for me
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
