I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
