Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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