Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Randomize
