Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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