So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
