Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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