Texts From Last Night

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  (251): View more from Alabama

  Call me "white mamba"

  (334): View more from Alabama

  Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake

  (251): View more from Alabama

  It is white.

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  (251): Call me "white mamba" (334): Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake (251): It is white. http://tfl.nu/1p0c
  Replies (5) Good night (1209) Bad night (1628)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.

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  (412): Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets. http://tfl.nu/agl3
  Replies (48) Good night (1242) Bad night (4423)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.

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  (512): after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men. http://tfl.nu/7tn8
  Replies (31) Good night (2278) Bad night (8352)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.

  (720): View more from Colorado

  ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...

  (917): View more from New York City

  no it doesn't.

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  (917): you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere. (720): ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning... (917): no it doesn't. http://tfl.nu/6x89
  Replies (34) Good night (18910) Bad night (1600)
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  (530): View more from California

  She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.

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  (530): She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth. http://tfl.nu/q63e
  Replies (10) Good night (1009) Bad night (3668)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.

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  (860): He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days. http://tfl.nu/v2o4
  Replies (18) Good night (5524) Bad night (1118)
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?

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  (828): is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear? http://tfl.nu/pkiy
  Replies (1) Good night (899) Bad night (1646)
• Favorite

  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Are you still goin to the xmas party?

  (1-902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Yaaaa why?

  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .

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  (902): Are you still goin to the xmas party? (1-902): Yaaaa why? (902): Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field . http://tfl.nu/wque
  Replies (5) Good night (1745) Bad night (1120)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...

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  (248): I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw... http://tfl.nu/f06y
  Replies (2) Good night (1425) Bad night (727)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  . Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.

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  (615): . Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this. http://tfl.nu/oczw
  Replies (6) Good night (1439) Bad night (564)
• Favorite

  (627): View more from California

  The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.

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  (627): The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever. http://tfl.nu/zns8
  Replies (6) Good night (2127) Bad night (576)
• Favorite

  (731): View more from Tennessee

  Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...

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  (731): Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels... http://tfl.nu/6gyu
  Replies (22) Good night (1569) Bad night (808)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...

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  (443): I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ... http://tfl.nu/71on
  Replies (1) Good night (309) Bad night (595)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.

  (253): View more from Washington

  You called the wrong number but I salute you.

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  (707): According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground. (253): You called the wrong number but I salute you. http://tfl.nu/npd5
  Replies (4) Good night (1521) Bad night (384)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian

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  (585): You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian http://tfl.nu/xs92
  Replies (0) Good night (131) Bad night (286)

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