I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
she peed on how many people?
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
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