I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™