Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(703): View more from Virginia

Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.

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(703): Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick. http://tfl.nu/xski

Replies (15) Good night (622) Bad night (3574)
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(310): View more from California

...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.

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(310): ...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have. http://tfl.nu/9vj6

Replies (53) Good night (972) Bad night (4532)
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(909): View more from California

Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.

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(909): Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave. http://tfl.nu/ztn7

Replies (22) Good night (1805) Bad night (3505)
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(808): View more from Hawaii

Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD

(206): View more from Washington

Or, you could have used a condom

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(808): Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD (206): Or, you could have used a condom http://tfl.nu/0l3i

Replies (35) Good night (1204) Bad night (6870)
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.

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(570): You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol. http://tfl.nu/n8ii

Replies (11) Good night (954) Bad night (3438)
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(330): View more from Ohio

i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision

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(330): i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision http://tfl.nu/wqwa

Replies (10) Good night (1136) Bad night (2063)
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(585): View more from New York

Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered

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(585): Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered http://tfl.nu/ct7k

Replies (13) Good night (1444) Bad night (1052)
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(503): View more from Oregon

I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.

(503): View more from Oregon

Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.

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(503): I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature. (503): Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true. http://tfl.nu/zw1q

Replies (3) Good night (1456) Bad night (505)
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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.

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(780): He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned. http://tfl.nu/9m93

Replies (11) Good night (1041) Bad night (389)
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(615): View more from Tennessee

Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.

(615): View more from Tennessee

And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass

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(615): Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic. (615): And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass http://tfl.nu/370d

Replies (0) Good night (734) Bad night (363)
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(310): View more from California

i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works

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(310): i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works http://tfl.nu/taju

Replies (4) Good night (1045) Bad night (339)
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(601): View more from Mississippi

At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.

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(601): At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by. http://tfl.nu/1wlf

Replies (8) Good night (999) Bad night (438)
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(727): View more from Florida

I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame

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(727): I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame http://tfl.nu/nqk0

Replies (6) Good night (1424) Bad night (362)
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(514): View more from Quebec

In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me

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(514): In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me http://tfl.nu/f4ks

Replies (0) Good night (813) Bad night (303)
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(804): View more from Virginia

my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.

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(804): my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important. http://tfl.nu/uv51

Replies (3) Good night (471) Bad night (231)

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