Texts From Last Night

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  (212): View more from New York

  I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro

  (630): View more from Illinois

  I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth

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  (212): I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro (630): I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth http://tfl.nu/vvtz
  Replies (34) Good night (1217) Bad night (2668)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her

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  (603): not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her http://tfl.nu/t8zc
  Replies (90) Good night (2644) Bad night (23360)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.

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  (540): Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do. http://tfl.nu/lc9b
  Replies (8) Good night (3515) Bad night (825)
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  (909): View more from California

  do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?

  (760): View more from California

  and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook

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  (909): do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"? (760): and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook http://tfl.nu/nbai
  Replies (28) Good night (4885) Bad night (788)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"

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  (614): you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers" http://tfl.nu/unf8
  Replies (13) Good night (4660) Bad night (769)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.

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  (920): Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep. http://tfl.nu/o54g
  Replies (36) Good night (12926) Bad night (1303)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.

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  (206): He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go. http://tfl.nu/rhri
  Replies (13) Good night (2182) Bad night (3669)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.

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  (908): So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all. http://tfl.nu/ms6m
  Replies (3) Good night (4517) Bad night (839)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.

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  (613): Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs. http://tfl.nu/sez7
  Replies (9) Good night (1172) Bad night (3138)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.

  (1-313): View more from Michigan

  That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.

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  (313): Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning. (1-313): That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls. http://tfl.nu/sn09
  Replies (7) Good night (612) Bad night (1514)
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  (858): View more from California

  I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.

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  (858): I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police. http://tfl.nu/cytj
  Replies (6) Good night (1095) Bad night (565)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.

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  (701): Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that. http://tfl.nu/ctxr
  Replies (7) Good night (619) Bad night (424)
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  (845): View more from New York

  I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?

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  (845): I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it? http://tfl.nu/d94j
  Replies (4) Good night (1063) Bad night (396)
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  (+35): View more from

  Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?

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  (+35): Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean? http://tfl.nu/kb5k
  Replies (1) Good night (293) Bad night (352)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?

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  (484): Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours? http://tfl.nu/xndj
  Replies (1) Good night (263) Bad night (483)

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