she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
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then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
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you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS