He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
you win again, gameday.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
The Most Iconic Met Gala Looks The Kardashian’s Have Rocked
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
25 Hilarious ‘Sex Clubs’ You Should Try To Join
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day