he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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