so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Randomize
