her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Hello my rib-scented angel!
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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