I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
