Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
