Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Send help, water and tortillas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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