my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Randomize
