Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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