I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize