She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
