I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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