I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
