One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
