awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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