at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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