Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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