I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
