You don't have asthma, your pregnant
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
