But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
so let's talk penis.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Randomize
