hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
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