Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(416): View more from Ontario

Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.

Fav 4 2514 805
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(319): View more from Iowa

Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts

Fav 51 5390 1243
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(608): View more from Wisconsin

can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?

Fav 9 1089 2785
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(609): View more from New Jersey

I haven't been this sober since birth.

Fav 15 1465 2973
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(514): View more from Quebec

He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.

Fav 18 903 4899
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(313): View more from Michigan

I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer

Fav 8 2448 1140
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(920): View more from Wisconsin

well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.

Fav 5 3658 1071
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(216): View more from Ohio

if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid

Fav 1 841 501
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(773): View more from Illinois

You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..

Fav 3 57 16
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