I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
