I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
