can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
