when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
