OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
