she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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