she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
what is it with giant penises always finding me
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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