Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
