Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
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Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
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Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
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