If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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