i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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