Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
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