Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
