I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
