also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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