Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
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