let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
