Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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