dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize