Please, let me fuck your mom
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
