drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
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