if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
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