so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
