i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Randomize
