My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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