it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
