remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Randomize
