Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
