I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
