you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
