I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize