Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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