Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
