Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize