okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
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