I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
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